His Comments

Her Comments

When my wife proposed the idea of making a ‘his and her’ devotional, she insisted we start with Genesis 2:22 as our first entry. The wisecracker in me immediately thought to ask, “Does this explain why you are a pain in my side?”, but Proverbs 2:6 tells us “For the LORD giveth wisdom”, and with that wisdom I decided not to make such a silly remark.

Before sharing my thoughts on marriage, I would like to start with these few passages:

Since my wife doesn’t know what I’m writing beforehand, I can imagine her saying “Why are you starting our devotional about marriage with scripture about enemies?!” If God tells us to love our enemies and pray for their well-being, how much more kind and loving should we be with someone who we are to be made one flesh? I don’t say this to lessen how we are to love our neighbor and our enemy, but more so to emphasize our responsibility to our spouse.

As I take a step back and think about my own marriage, and how God has worked in my life, I believe God used my wife to help soften my heart. I was a non-believer when my wife and I met. The summer before my marriage, my mother was diagnosed with stage-4 cancer. We moved the date so she could participate in the wedding; to my surprise, my wife recommended we allow her to move into our house the day after the wedding. This allowed her and I to care for my mother until her passing. In hindsight, I believe the Lord used my wife’s love for God, and love for her husband and family. This humbled me along with teaching me what it is to put others first and to serve.

As a Christian, and having been married for 10+ years, my love for Christ and my wife have continued to grow. Christ came to serve, and he suffered for us, and we are called to love God and love our neighbor as ourselves. It’s not enough to just say we “love” our wives, but as husbands we are called to love sacrificially.

Christ gave himself for the church, for us, and it’s with that same sacrificial love that we are called to love our wives. We are all sinners saved by Grace. We all fall short every day, but it’s through the Grace of God that we are permitted to ‘keep on, keeping on’ as my pastor would say. Husbands, God doesn’t demand perfection. There was only one who was sinless, and that was Jesus Christ. We are called to love. Love God, love our neighbor, love our enemy, and love our wife as Christ loved the church. As husbands, who are sinners saved by Grace, there are going to be ups and downs along the way, and that’s OK. Just remember to hold onto that love for one another as you ‘keep on, keeping on’.

Before I start, let me say that I know my husband will take this from a more scholarly perspective. (I apologize ahead of time, haha) When we started down the path for this project, I thought Genesis 2:22 was the best place to start.

We wanted the devotional centered around relationships. What is bigger than the relationship between God, man, and woman. In this passage we know that woman was made to be a companion to man, and we know from scripture that man is made from the image of God. As women, we have the privilege and the responsibility to support and complete our husband. In symmetry, the man must also support his wife.

I do not believe that there is only one man for every woman. If this was true, those who are widowed would never be remarried. However, I do believe God has made women and men to be compatible to each other. This is why he gives us definitions of marriage and responsibilities in the family.

Marriage is hard work. If you do not go into marriage with God first and the idea that you and your partner need to meld into one family unit, one shared value system, and one strong commitment to each other, you will not last.

People marry for many reasons. Some for love, financial stability, security, arranged marriages, to avoid loneliness, and many other reasons. These reasons are valid and can create lasting marriages. However, every one of these reasons must have the foundation of respect, love, and hard work.

When my husband and I married he was an atheist. I didn’t intend to find a man who was not equally yoked. I did however have many prayers and talks with God on the topic of finding a significant other. I had always been a good Christian woman. I was tired of waiting for a man to fall into my lap. I didn’t go to bars and as a teacher, there were no eligible men around me. I had expectations. I wanted someone with a strong sense of family, someone with a good work ethic, someone I could depend on and would not be afraid to be around.

In a last stitch effort to find someone I prayed to the Lord something like this. “I do not want to live alone my whole life. I am strong enough, but I deserve to be happy. I want to experience true love. I want a husband and children. However, if you only can give me one, please send me a husband. Even if it is for a short while, I want to feel complete.”

Not long after this prayer, I joined an online dating site. Within two weeks, Robert and I were talking. He was the first and only man I dated on that site. We were married a little over a year later. I can only say that God had his hand in it. He guided both of us to the same spot at the same time.

While he was not yet a Christian, he was led in that direction after marriage. We have a strong marriage. Neither of us are perfect, but we work hard and strive to complete each other when one is weak, lazy, short in an area, or sick.

We talk things through, and we are growing in God every day.

God Bless.